When it come to asking for help, sometime it really hard to open our mouth just to say what we need. There are many assumptions we gave our self from “people wouldn’t like it”, ” they are busy”, ” I am being a burden”, “Owning a favor” to “If I ask for help, then I don’t have “face”/makes me look stupid” or even fear of being rejected.
Today Managing Life series is to bring you back to the basic – asking for help. Look at this way – they are human, I am human. How much is the price of the ego/”face”? Life is about helping each other, no man is an island.
A business/corporation/individual would not be success without asking for help, even a homeless is also asking for help by putting a cardboard/coin box begging for spare change/donation.
But with all these, there are some fact I want to point out. Asking for help for a moral/surviving purpose is totally fine but not when it use for own pleasure. I encountered a few asking for help by begging for money on the street to support their travel. For me, that is the no!no! or begging for money to buy betting or worst substance. I met an old lady once while I was queuing at the ATM to withdraw some cash. She approached every each of us and some took pity on her, gave her $2. Guess what! The next thing, she was queuing too, to buy betting! Not only that, she was with a new packet of cigarette, if you live in Singapore, you’ll know how expensive cigarette is. Good life ya! That the benefits for asking for help.
Well, that is the extreme side. For common us, if can, we would not like to ask for help. Therefore, we need to reverse what on our mind:
– If you ever help people, do you feel good? If yes, then why you can’t get help?
– If you think you a burden, why can’t you think this is part of the caring relationship, that what make life meaningful.
– If you think they are busy/don’t like it, that is what YOU THINK, not they think. You never ask, you never know.
– Owing a favor – that is indeed a huge one. Write in a appreciation notes or something for the person how they had helped you to make your life easier.
– If that makes me don’t have “face”/makes me look stupid – Who the judge?
– Fear of being rejected – ok, so if rejected, what the worst thing would happen? What did you lose?
Today worksheet is about asking for help. All you need to do is to write down what are the things you needed help with and who could you approach for the matter.
I need help in changing light bulb, I can approach XXX to help me change it
I need someone to help me on my computer, I can ask James who is an IT expert, help me look at it.
This is a simple practice and say it out, not just write.
Hope you enjoy this session.
Take a Moment goal is to help you connect with yourself and make self love a priority because YOU MATTER!