Yesterday I went completely off from the internet, due to my unstable internet connection when I am in Malaysia. I just came back a moment ago.
Being unplug is sort off the best thing because I am able to focus on what going on with me. I always want to share more, I dream this blog to be inspiring, a blog that could help others learn a thing or two about life, not just me posting about how I live my life or questions about life but somehow there is something just stopping me.
Today I realized is my ENGLISH!!! I am afraid at how you will look at me, judge me when I make grammar mistake or typo error everywhere in the blog. I always feel that I am not good enough, I am so stupid – after learning grammar a.k.a English, still not competent. My ego in crisis, where do I put my “face” when my judge is from all over the world?! Why would I make myself ashamed?!
I’m in dilemma between wanting to share about something, at the same time afraid being judge of my English. I knew that I been procrastinating especially my focus are on “My English grammar sucks!”,” My English so limited!”,”I am not good enough”, “Who are you? No one would want to listen to you, you not some famous guru!” Seriously I admit all of it.
It is during this unplug time, I also found epiphany about my life. I don’t want one day when I am old looking back that I regretted I never been living my life, all because of fear and focusing none other than the crap of negative beliefs.
That’s it! I will write and share about what I learned, life, issues or tips even with my crappy English. I know that at least IF I leave the world tomorrow, I’ve live my life meaningfully.
So if any of you read my blog and find something odd or anything to improve, feel free to comment.